We Can Rebuild Her……..we think

Morning Dialogue

Every morning I have the same argument with myself. Some days it’s a quick fight.

Brain: Get up
Body: No
Brain: Get up!
Body: Okay..

But on those days when I feel like punching someone in the throat for breathing near me, the fight sounds something like this:

Brain: Time to get up and get moving.
Body: No.
Brain: C’mon get up.
Body: Did I stutter? No!
Brain: Can’t get better if you don’t get up.
Body: Bitch leave me alone!
Brain: Get up get up get up!!
Brain: Not until you get up 😛
Body: Fine! Ughh I hate you.

They always ask on a scale of 1-10 how I feel. This is what it sounds like in my head when I’m an 8 or 9. Now you see why it takes me a while to get up. Most mornings I’m fighting to find the strength to sit up, let alone get up and move. Recovery is a long road and the journey is a pain in the ass. But at some point this torture will be worth it.

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The Underdog

So I’m watching the Phillies game and I can’t help thinking about what it means to be the underdog. Not sure if it’s a Philly thing (Rocky and all) or what but most of my life I’ve felt like I was the underdog. In karate I had to prove I was as strong, if not stronger than the men in my class. When I talk sports with someone I have to prove that I’m not just a pretty face, I know my stuff too. Every injury I’ve had knocked me on my ass and I had to fight back and make myself stronger than I was before. So I feel like I’m always fighting this uphill battle to prove myself. I plan on working with law enforcement after graduation, and that is going to be another uphill battle. Law enforcement is, and will always be seen as “a man’s field.” I’ll have to prove myself to the people I work with that just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I can’t do some good.

They say it’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. Well this dog gets tired of fighting sometimes. There are days I just want to lie down and give up. But for some odd reason I brush myself off and get back up. I don’t think I have it in me to just quit. I’ve always been that way. That’s how I was raised. Life sucks but if life was easy it wouldn’t be worth living. You can’t just settle and accept things, you have to fight for what you want. You want a happy life, get out there and do what you have to to get it. You want a great relationship, fight through the battles. I don’t want the easy road, I don’t want things handed to me. I’d rather sweat and bleed and crawl over broken glass or hot coals until I reach my target…..and then push myself ever farther. So I’ll be the underdog the rest of my life if that’s what I need to do. I’d rather be the underdog than the alpha dog. Why??? Because you won’t see me coming 😉

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